Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dick very happy bro
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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