This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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