i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
