I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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