You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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