my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
