I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
