Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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