youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
