Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
