remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
