Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
