I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
