haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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