Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Text me some of your sweat
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