I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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