so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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