Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
