I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
