just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
