dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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