She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
