i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
