But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
