I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
