I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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