hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
