I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
