I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize
