I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
