3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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