you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
