The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
