What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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