overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
