Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
