I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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