He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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