I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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