...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
