I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
