His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
