Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
