I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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