dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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