Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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