I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
