My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
