HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
