oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
