u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
